Your Attention is Being Stolen
(Here’s How to Take It Back)
What Marcus Aurelius Knew About Success That Most Entrepreneurs Ignore
It was 8 PM, and I was still at the office. I’d been ‘busy’ all day—jumping between patient visits, staff issues, Medicare documentation, and endless emails. My phone kept buzzing with notifications. My computer kept dinging with messages. I felt exhausted but couldn’t point to anything significant I’d actually accomplished.
I was late to get home for the kids’ bedtime. I didn’t see them that morning, and it looked like I wasn’t going to see them that evening, either. I left for work in the dark, and I was headed home in the dark.
What kind of life was this?
The cost of constant distraction wasn’t just about business efficiency—it was about missing the moments that mattered most.
Later in life, when I read Marcus Aurelius’s words: “Stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions,” I wished that I had learned that lesson earlier, when it would have mattered more.
The True Cost of Divided Attention
Marcus Aurelius also wrote, “You need to avoid certain things in your train of thought: everything random, everything irrelevant, and certainly everything self-important or malicious.”
In business, we often wear our constant availability like a badge of honor. Every notification demands attention. Every email needs an immediate response. Every request feels urgent. I remember feeling proud of how quickly I responded to everything, as if my rapid reactions made me a better leader.
But at what cost?
- Strategic decisions that never got made
- Important projects that never moved forward
- Family moments that never happened
- Peace of mind that never came
The worst part? I didn’t even realize what I was losing until it was already lost.
The Illusion of Productivity
“Most of what we say and do is not essential,” Marcus Aurelius reminded us. “If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment: Is this necessary?”
Looking back at those long days in the office, most of what kept me “busy” wasn’t essential. I was reacting to everything, accomplishing little, and missing what mattered most. Each notification, each interruption, each “quick question” pulled me further from what really needed my attention.
Taking Back Control
Eventually, I made a radical change. I turned off all notifications except phone calls from my key staff. I blocked out an hour every morning for strategic work before opening my email. I set specific times for checking messages and returning calls.
At first, my staff thought I was crazy. They laughed at my attempts to get control over distractions. Some people got annoyed when I didn’t respond immediately.
But something interesting happened: our agency started running better.
Without constant interruptions, I could think clearly about our challenges. I made better decisions. I got home in time for dinner more often. Slowly but surely, my life got better.
One day, a manager told me, “You seem different—more present in our meetings.” She was right. By protecting my attention, I became a better leader.
The Power of Focused Attention
Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Concentrate every minute like a Roman—like a man—on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions.”
Years later, even though I no longer run the home health agency, I still protect my morning time religiously. It’s some of the most valuable time on my calendar. These days,
- I start each day with intention rather than reaction.
- I make decisions strategically rather than under pressure.
- I show up to meetings and conversations fully present.
- I have energy left for what matters most.
Building Better Boundaries
Here’s what I’ve learned about reclaiming attention, both from running my agency and from coaching other business owners now:
- Start with Morning Focus
The quiet of early morning has power. I use this time to read, think, and plan—before the world starts making demands.
- Control Your Technology
It’s not enough to silence your phone—you need to change your entire relationship with technology.
- Create Sacred Space
This isn’t just about work boundaries—it’s about honoring what matters most.
I encourage my clients to protect not just work time but personal time, too—date nights, family dinners, and whatever matters most.
The Reality Check
Marcus Aurelius reminded us, “If you seek tranquility, do less. Or, more accurately, do what’s essential.”
I see it in my coaching practice now—new clients who’ve been trapped in the same cycle I was in. They’re constantly available but rarely present. They’re always busy but rarely productive. They’re responding to everything but accomplishing little. This is one of the reasons why my clients come to me—they realize they’re caught in the trap and don’t know how to free themselves.
I encourage my clients to protect not just work time, but life time too—regular date nights, family dinners, whatever matters most to them. The ones who commit to this practice often tell me they feel like they’ve gotten their life back. This has become one of the central tenets of my coaching practice because life is more than just business. I don’t want others to experience the struggles I went through or put my family through.
Look at your typical day:
- How much time do you spend reacting?
- How much time do you spend creating?
- How many interruptions are truly urgent?
- How many could wait for a designated time?
The Path Forward
“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people,” Marcus Aurelius advised, “unless it affects the common good.”
Your attention is the most valuable asset in your business—and in your life. I’ve seen this truth play out repeatedly, both in my own business and with my clients.
When you protect your attention:
- Your business benefits from better decisions.
- Your team benefits from clearer leadership.
- Your family benefits from your presence.
- You benefit from a life that makes sense.
I work with business owners now who struggle with the same challenges I faced. The ones who succeed in reclaiming their attention all start the same way—with one small change that proves bigger changes are possible.
Making the Change
Start small.
- Choose one hour to protect.
- Turn off one type of notification.
- Set one boundary around your time.
Your business needs your best thinking—not your constant reaction.
What’s the first step you’ll take to reclaim your attention?
